Funny Boat Names: 80 Ideas That Make the Whole Marina Smile

The best boat names get a laugh from the next slip over. The worst ones get explained at every party for the next ten years. These are the first kind.

These funny boat names are sorted by the joke: sea puns, knots, sailing, buoys, the dock, and the money it all costs, plus office excuses and insider picks for lawyers and finance pros. We've added a few notes for the landlubbers, so you'll have an answer ready at the marina.

Sea what we did there

• Seas the Day: the reigning classic.
• Sea Ya Later: what you say to the office on Friday at noon.
• Vitamin Sea: doctor's orders.
• Sea Quel: for your second boat.
• Sea-Esta: nap time, on the water.
• Sea La Vie: such is life.
• Ocean Commotion: for a party boat.
• Sea Biscuit: a nod to the famous racehorse, for a fast little boat.
• Unsinkable II: confidence, plus a sense of history.
• Plan Sea: when Plans A and B didn't work out.

Knot your average name

• Knot Working: a boater's favorite.
• Knot on Call: made for doctors, IT, and anyone on a pager.
• Knot Too Shabby
• Knotty Buoy
• Knot Paid For: honest, at least.
• Knot Today
• Knot a Care
• Knot for Sale: no matter how many times the broker asks.

Sailing puns

• Sail of the Century
• Sailbatical: a sabbatical, under sail.
• Sail-ebration
• For Sail: technically, it's not for sale.
• Wind Fall: for the boat bought with a bonus.
• Nautical Nonsense: for the cartoon fans aboard.
• Sails Pitch: for the salesperson who earned it.

Buoys and anchors

• Buoy Oh Buoy
• Atta Buoy
• Lost Buoys: for a crew of friends who never grew up.
• Party Buoy
• Aweigh We Go: anchors aweigh.
• Far Aweigh
• Get Aweigh
• Aweigh From It All

Dockside wordplay

• Shore Thing
• Shore Leave
• Dock Holiday: for a very relaxed gunslinger.
• Docktor's Orders: for the physician's boat.
• Moor or Less
• Pier Pressure: everyone else at the marina had one.
• Berth Day: for the boat you bought on your birthday.
• Sail Mates: for a couple's sailboat.
• Stern Warning: posted clearly on the back.
• Relationship: every boat is one.
• Hardship: for the boat that's always in the shop.
• Hull-abaloo
• Bow Tie: for a formal boat.
• Current Mood
• No Wake Zone: for a very calm boat.
• Aquaholic

The money jokes

Every boat owner has heard that a boat is a hole in the water you pour money into. Might as well name it that.

• Hole in the Water
• Break Out Another Thousand: the old joke about what B.O.A.T. stands for.
• Spending the Kids' Inheritance: honesty is the best policy.
• Sunk Cost: a finance term, and hopefully not a prediction.
• Depreciating Asset
• The Money Pit
• Over Budget
• Loan Ranger: for a boat still being paid off.
• Bail Out: works in criminal court, on Wall Street, and in a leaky boat.

Office excuses

For the professional who wants to answer "Where are you?" truthfully.

• Tied Up at the Office
• In a Meeting
• Working Remotely
• Offsite
• Conference Call
• Do Not Disturb
• Casual Friday
• Per Our Last Email: passive-aggressive, and proud of it.
• Circle Back: we'll circle back Monday.
• Take It Offline: literally.

Funny boat names for lawyers

• Seas and Desist: for the lawyer who wants everyone off their dock.
• Beach of Contract
• The Docket: a court's calendar of cases. This one rarely leaves the dock.
• Motion to Dismiss: the office, until Monday.
• Continuance: a postponement of a court date. Granted for the whole weekend.
• Settled Out of Port
• Pier Review: for the lawyer who once edited the law review.
• Riparian Rights: the legal rights of owners whose land touches a river or lake. Every lake lawyer knows them.

Funny boat names for finance pros

• Underwater: owing more than it's worth. Hopefully not literally.
• Capital Loss: the honest name for any boat.
• Margin Call: for the boat bought on borrowed money.
• Tax Write-Off: ask your accountant first.

Before you paint it on

1. Say it on the radio. You'll be announcing it to other boats and the harbor master, so make sure it's easy to say clearly.
2. Keep it family-friendly. Your boat name is a sign everyone at the marina will read, kids included.
3. Test it on a friend. If they groan and then laugh, you've found a keeper.
4. Renaming? Hold a ceremony. Sailors' folklore says renaming a boat is bad luck unless you hold a renaming ceremony first. It's also a great excuse for a dock party.

Want a joke only your colleagues will get? Try our boat names for lawyers or boat names for bankers and accountants. Love to fish? See our fishing boat names, full of "reel" puns. Need a name for the jet ski, too? Browse our jet ski names. Counting down to the last day at the office? Our retirement boat names for finance pros are made for it.