Boat Names for Lawyers: 80 Legal Puns That Float

You finally made it out of the office and onto the water. Your boat's name is your closing argument to the world, so make it a good one.

We've sorted our favorites by theme, with a quick note on the ones that need translating for non-lawyers. Say them out loud before you commit: you'll be saying it on the radio, at the marina, and to every guest who asks, "What does that mean?"

Courtroom classics

• Motion to Float: granted, unanimously, every Saturday.
• Sea You in Court: a friendly warning to the boat that cut you off.
• Knot Guilty: the sailor's plea.
• Reasonable Float: beyond a reasonable doubt, this boat stays up.
• Sustained Winds: sailboats only, objection overruled.
• Case Closed: for the boat you bought after a big win.
• Out of Court: where every good settlement, and every good weekend, happens.
• Leading the Wake: the only leading the judge won't object to.
• Hearsea: sounds like hearsay, but inadmissible on land.
• Cross Currents: cross-examination, maritime edition.
• Double Jeopardy: perfect for a catamaran, which has two hulls.
• Beach Trial: a bench trial, but with sunscreen.
• Motion Granted: short, sweet, and victorious.
• Jury's Out: and so are you, on the lake.
• Order in the Port
• Summery Judgment: no genuine dispute of material fact that it's summer.
• Closing Arguments
• Overruled: for a speedboat that doesn't take no for an answer.
• Plead the Fifth: works best with a well-stocked galley.
• Sidebar: for a small boat that tags along with the big ones.
• Exhibit A: the first thing you show every guest.
• Amended Complaint: for a boat that always needs one more repair.

Latin, but make it nautical

Every lawyer secretly loves Latin. Put that expensive education to work.

• Habeas Porpoise: habeas corpus, "you shall have the body." In this case, the dolphin.
• Res Ipsa Floatur: res ipsa loquitur, "the thing speaks for itself." The thing floats for itself.
• Pro Bono Voyage: for the lawyer who gives back, and gets away.
• Quid Pro Row: kayaks and rowboats only.
• Ex Parte Barge: ex parte means "one side only." Pontoons and party barges welcome.
• Caveat Emptor: "buyer beware," ideal for a used boat.
• Nolo Contendere: "I do not wish to contend," the perfect attitude on a lazy Sunday.
• Carpe Diem: technically not legal Latin, but lawyers use it too.
• Pro Sea: representing yourself, captaining yourself.
• Mare Liberum: "the free sea," the title of Hugo Grotius's 1609 treatise on freedom of the seas. Maritime lawyers will know.
• Ipso Facto
• Bona Fide: a genuine boat, in good faith.
• Force Majeure: for a powerboat, or one that has survived an act of nature.
• Amicus Marina: a friend of the court, and of the dock.
• Sua Sponte: "on its own motion." For spur-of-the-moment trips.

Billable hours and firm life

• Billable Ours: every hour on the water is billable to us.
• Point One: lawyers bill in tenths of an hour, and "0.1" is the smallest unit. Short, clean, and deeply insider.
• Six-Minute Increments: the same joke for people who want it spelled out.
• Partner Tack: made partner? Change course.
• Making Partner
• Of Counsel: semi-retired and loving it.
• The Retainer: paid in advance, enjoyed in arrears.
• Contingency Plan: for the lawyer who won big on contingency.
• The Settlement: so everyone knows exactly how it was paid for.
• Discovery Phase: for an explorer yacht, or anyone still figuring out how the boat works.
• Due Diligence: you did your research before buying. Right?
• Court Recess
• Out of Office: the auto-reply is on.
• Counsel's Retreat
• Writ of Leisure
• Rainmaker: for the partner who brings in the business, and the weather.
• The Bar Is Open: a party boat's legal and practical status.
• Passed the Bar: a pun on sandbars. It's also a celebration.
• Raising the Bar

Contract and property law

• Liquidated Damages: every boat owner knows where the money goes.
• Material Beach: a material breach, but beachier.
• Quiet Enjoyment: a property-law term that describes a perfect sailboat afternoon.
• Fee Simple: complete ownership, and the boat is (finally) paid off.
• Hold Harmless
• Without Prejudice
• Good Faith
• Arm's Length: how close you'll let other boats get.
• Act of God: for anyone who has weathered a storm.
• Salvage Rights: for the fixer-upper you rescued.
• Maritime Lien: for the admiralty lawyer with a sense of humor.
• Admiralty Jurisdiction
• Legal Tender: on a yacht, the "tender" is the small boat that ferries you to shore. This is its perfect name.
• Notary Pontoon: signed, sealed, and floating.
• Torts & Tides
• Precedent Setter: the first boat in the family.

For the retirement boat

You've earned it. These names say so.

• The Defense Rests
• Court Adjourned
• No Limitations: the statute of limitations has run, and so have you.
• Final Appeal
• Extended Recess
• Emeritus
• Brief Escape: turned into a very long one.
• Adjourned Sine Die: adjourned with no date set to return. The most final adjournment there is.

Before you paint it on the transom

A clever name is only good if it works in real life:

1. Say it on the radio. Try "Habeas Porpoise, Habeas Porpoise, this is…" If it's hard to say clearly, the marina will mangle it.
2. Keep it readable. Two or three words fits a transom and reads from a distance.
3. Check the rules if your boat is federally documented. U.S. Coast Guard rules limit documented vessel names to 33 characters. They also bar names that sound like distress calls, or that include obscene language or slurs. Check the Coast Guard's National Vessel Documentation Center for current rules, and your state's rules for registered boats.
4. Renaming? Mind tradition. Sailors traditionally hold a renaming ceremony to stay on Poseidon's good side. It's a great excuse for a party.

Not every boat needs a legal pun. See our sailboat names and funny boat names, or, for the attorney who also came home with a puppy, our dog names for lawyers.

Still deciding? The generator gives you six fresh ideas with every click, using your own name, team, or lucky number.